Author: Amy

I’m having an internal struggle this morning making myself write this. I feel like God is asking me to, but I have to admit, this one I don’t want to. But I have learned, when God asks you to do something, it’s for a reason. So I hope the bearing of my hurt will help heal the one who needs to read this.

Years ago, before Braxton, I was in an abusive marriage. Now the physical abuse came at the very end and was very minimal in comparison to what others have suffered, to the point that I hardly ever mention the physical abuse. My ex was the king of emotional abuse. The kind of abuse that doesn’t leave physical scars. The kind of abuse that you can’t prove in a court of law but still suffer from for years afterward, and it makes you question everyone and their intentions. (Braxton gets an extra star in his crown for not only marrying a woman who was recovering from that abuse but also stepping up as a dad to a son who was a victim of it as well.)

I will say, I am much better now than I was when Braxton and I first got married. Whenever we would have a disagreement, and my feelings would get hurt, my mind would start reeling, and my guard would go up; my emotions would take over, fight or flight would kick in, and anxiety would rise. Braxton could see it on my face and asked me what was wrong. I had to take time to process. Was my response a response to Braxton or to my past? I had to assign the hurt to the right place and to the right “villain.” 9/10, it was assigned to my past, not my present.

I would tell Braxton that “my demons” were talking to me. He would ask what they were saying, and then he would tell me the truth.

I have spent many years battling these “demons,” these thoughts that tear me down, these feelings of insignificance, and so much hurt and damage to myself. But God has heard my cries. He has healed me and is still healing me. He uses my precious husband to speak into my heart to heal the past. He uses friendships to speak life into my soul. He uses my children to speak love to me. He uses my writing to process my thoughts.

In Mark 1:32-34, it says, “That evening, after sunset, many sick and demon-possessed people were brought to Jesus. The whole town gathered at the door to watch. So Jesus healed many people who were sick with various diseases, and he cast out many demons. But because the demons knew who he was, he did not allow them to speak.”

I realize that the demons that Jesus cast out were and are very different from my demons. My demons are thoughts and reminders of past pain. Insecurities. Feelings of minimal self-worth. Feelings of “I am not enough.” But God can cast out those demons. He can and does heal those emotional hurts.

He is our Yahweh Ropheka, so when we call on him to heal those pains, those memories, those thoughts, He steps up and replaces those lies with truth. He reminds me of my value. He reminds me that I am loved. That I am worthy of love. That I am liked by others and that it’s ok to have friends and relationships with people. For every lie that I was taught to believe, God can and will combat it with truth.

Now, if you have never been a victim of emotional abuse, then you may not understand the weight that this type of abuse carries. You may not understand the constant state of questioning every person and every word that comes out of their mouth. And for that, I am thankful that you don’t, because there is no way I would wish it on anyone.

I do not write any of this for anyone to come to me and praise me in any way to “make me feel better” or feel sorry for me in any way. Please, please, please don’t do that. We all have our own burdens to carry, and everyone’s path is different. Your hurt is different than my hurt. And that’s ok. It’s how we respond to it and use it to glorify God. I am being vulnerable because I want you to see God. Fifteen years ago, I would not have had the power or the ability to write these words. But God stepped in, he heard my cries, and he pulled me up out of a very deep and dark pit. I am writing this for you today because of God and God alone. I praise God loudly because my scars run deep. I lift my hands in worship because I was the one that needed a hand to get up.

Psalm 103:3 says, “He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.”

Some diseases aren’t physical but mental. Anxieties can be debilitating, emotions can be abused, and the mind can be diseased to cause personality disorders and mental sicknesses. All CAN be healed by God; He has that kind of power. I can’t answer as to why some are healed, and some aren’t. I am not God. I don’t understand why he does what he does and when he does. I am thankful I do not have that kind of responsibility.

But God heals. Sometimes healing is immediate; sometimes it takes years. I am still healing. I still have a few wounds that I find from time to time when something triggers me, but I am not triggered as often as I was nine years ago. I owe that all to God and my wonderful husband, who God used and uses to find the wounded areas and cover them with love.

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about Elijah, who was running for his life, and in his despair, he was ready to give up and die. God gave him a tree to rest under, told him to lie down and take a nap, and gave him food. After that, he was ready to move on. Sometimes we just need a break; we need a snack, and then we can take the next step.

Jonah, running from God, had men throw him into the sea because he was overcome with guilt and distress. God sent a fish to swallow him and hold him in time-out until he could get over himself and do what God was asking him to do. Sometimes we need to sit in time-out, apart from everyone and everything, and have some time to process; then we can be spit back out to face the trials that we face.

If you just read through the book of Psalms, you will see David’s struggles with anxiety and distress. You can, subsequently, see his praising of God in overcoming those anxieties. But they were recurring. Sometimes anxieties come over and over again, and it is a constant surrendering to God.

Now, I am not discounting those who struggle with deep anxieties and fears or other mental struggles that we can’t just overcome easily. None of this is easy, and there are burdens that some bear that the rest of us do not understand. If you are one of these, please do not think that I am making light of what you are going through. I’m not. I am praying for you and asking Yahweh Ropheka for the healing that only he can provide.

What I know is that Yahweh Ropheka heals.

Sometimes healing is instant, sometimes it’s a process, and sometimes it’s in layers. Sometimes we are healed by a removal or moving; sometimes we just have to walk through it. Rest assured, our God is not tired of hearing you cry out to him in need of his healing. He knows your traumas, your hurts, your pains, your anxieties, your depression, and your worries, and he still loves you, and he wants you to continue to bring it all to him so that he can heal you.

If your “demons” are talking to you today, introduce them to Jesus. Demons can’t speak when Jesus is in the room. Speak HIS truth over your mind, your thoughts, worries, and concerns. Give it to our Yahweh Ropheka. Your scars, like mine, may run deep, but His mercy runs deeper, and His healing is more complete.

Give it all to Yahweh Ropheka. Seek his face, seek his love, seek his healing power.

I pray you have a great day with Jesus.

I am a little behind this week in my postings. I appreciate your grace in my delay, as I have been a little busy with cheer cookies.

This week, as we study Yahweh Ropheka, I don’t want us to merely focus on our healing when it comes to sickness. I know that is probably our go-to, as we often pray for the healing of sickness. And that’s not a bad thing at all. He wants us to come to him for that kind of healing. However, he isn’t just the healer of the physical, as I pointed out on Sunday.

God has impressed upon me 2 Chronicles 7:14 for the last two days. Years ago, I had a preacher who had us quote this verse every week before he preached. It is ingrained in my brain. (Side note: if you aren’t in the habit of memorizing scripture, you need to be. When you face troubles of any kind, it’s easier to have an immediate response of God’s word when it is hidden in your heart and mind. This is a challenge for myself as well.)

2 Chronicles opens with Solomon, son of David, taking control of his kingdom. He gathered the people and approached a bronze altar at the Tabernacle of the Lord and sacrificed 1,000 burnt offerings on it. That night, God appeared to him and asked him, “What do you want? Ask, and I will give it to you!”

Solomon said, “You showed great and faithful love to David, my father, and now you have made me king in his place. O LORD God, please continue to keep your promise to David my father, for you have made me king over a people as numerous as the dust of the earth! Give me the wisdom and knowledge to lead them properly, for who could possibly govern this great people of yours?”

God responded, “Because your greatest desire is to help your people, and you did not ask for wealth, riches, fame, or even the death of your enemies or a long life, but rather you asked for wisdom and knowledge to properly govern my people, I will certainly give you the wisdom and knowledge you requested. But I will also give you wealth, riches, and fame.”

Solomon was given the chance to ask for anything he wanted and he chose to ask for wisdom and knowledge. He was already wise before he asked for any wisdom. God blessed Solomon because of his choice with what he asked for and what he didn’t. (I believe there is a lesson there, that wisdom should be valued and regarded above earthly riches, but that is not the point that I wanted to make today. )

The next few chapters are the telling of Solomon building the temple. After it is built, in chapter six, Solomon praises the Lord and offers thousands of animals for sacrifices. Yes, thousands. When Solomon finished praying, fire flashed down from heaven and burned up the burnt offerings and sacrifices, and the presence of the LORD filled the Temple. 

After the dedication of the temple to God, the LORD appeared to Solomon one night, stating that “I have heard your prayer. At times, I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or command grasshoppers to devour your crops, or send plagues among you. 14 Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.”

There is so much more in this beautiful passage, but I want to focus on the healing. Now there hasn’t been a time of drought or famine in many years, but God is saying IF there is,

 IF my people who are called by my name (so his chosen people)

• Will humble themselves
• Pray
• Seek my face
• Turn from their wicked ways

THEN I will hear from heaven and heal their land.

There are some who say that this passage doesn’t apply to us now. They think it only applies to the Israelites because they are his chosen people. BUT Romans 8:15-16 says, “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.”

So, we are his people, and when we take him on in baptism, then we are his children, and when we call on his name, humble ourselves, pray, seek him, and repent, then he will hear our prayers and heal (rophe) our land.

We may not be in a drought or even in a famine at the moment, at least not one that pertains to the land itself. But perhaps we are in a cultural spiritual famine. People don’t go to church like they used to. When I was growing up, church wasn’t an option. You went. Period. You had better be sick, out of town, or dead if you weren’t going whenever the doors were open. Lately, it’s turned into “if I feel like it,” or “if the kids don’t have practice,” or “if we get our homework done,” or “if I get off work in time,” or “that’s my only day to sleep in, so if I wake up on time, I might try.”

When did attending church become optional? When did a relationship with God become optional? 

I personally have seen the decline in our society. When I was a kid, certain shows with certain language and “scenes” weren’t even allowed on tv until after the kids were in bed. Today, we have to monitor what creeps in so our kids aren’t accidentally exposed to something that they don’t need to be. Men are portrayed as idiots on TV screens and no longer viewed as the man of the house and spiritual leader. Men are no longer stepping up in church and leading in church, teaching classes, or being an active part of the worship service. (Yes, I believe that men are a vital part of leading not only our homes but also our churches as well. Strong godly men are needed.)

“Sunday school” no longer teaches the importance of scripture but shows a video, asks a few “thoughtful” questions, and have a good morning, and don’t forget to pray.” I remember having to quote my memory verse in front of the class, having quizzes on the things we learned, Bible Bowls to test our knowledge of scripture, and youth events where we just gathered to worship. 

How do we get back to having a society that is more focused on God and less focused on social media?

How do we turn Sunday school rooms back to learning and relationship?

How do we turn our society away from self-satisfaction and back to reverence of God?

If we are His people, then maybe it starts with us, the ones who are called by his name. We need to Humble ourselves. We need to Pray. We need to Seek HIS face. We need to Turn from our wicked ways. Then he will hear us and heal our land. 

Our physical land may be ok, but our spiritual land needs some tending. Maybe some weeds need to be pulled, some pride needs to be removed, priorities need to be adjusted, some humility needs to step in, and hearts need to be opened up to God. Our town, our state, our country, and our world all need Jesus. Yahweh Ropheka, hear our prayer. Reclaim your people. Let us call on your name. Let us repent of our ways so that he will hear us and heal us. 

Have a great day with Jesus.

Last week, we studied Adonay, which means Lord, Master. It was first introduced as Moses was pleading with Yahweh at the burning bush to send someone else in his place to free the Israelites from Pharaoh. 

How did you see the lordship of God displayed in Exodus 4?

I saw that God has a plan for us, and the events in our lives and the things we have gone through have a purpose in God’s plan.

She pointed out that Pharaoh’s headdress had a cobra on it. Did anyone else see the symbolism?

God had Moses throw the shepherd’s staff down, and it turned into a snake. Moses picked the snake up by the tail, and it turned back into a staff. 

Moses=shepherd Pharaoh=snake

Jesus=shepherd  Devil = snake

Moses was reluctant to do what God was asking, at the same time as he was calling him Lord, which means master. Have you ever been in the same position? What stopped you or delayed you from doing what God asked you to do?

As I have said before, me sitting here teaching is a testament to what God wanted me to do, because I would happily let someone else take over. I am not an “in front of people” person.

Our key verse was Psalm 16:2: “You are my Adonai, without you, I have nothing good.”

How does that verse make you feel or think about all that you have now and all that you have gone through to get to this point?

For me, it was a realization that nothing I have, I would not have without God. My children, the husband that I have now, and where we live now. And what it took to get us to this point is humbling. 

This week, we will be studying Yahweh Ropheka. She has Rophe in the book. Rophe is the root word of Ropheka. The verb rophe has been used 67 times in the Old Testament and brings an idea of bringing wholeness or healing to disease whether that be to water, land, cities, body, broken hearts, mind, spirit, or covenants. The subject of the verb is always close to the Lord, signifying His ability to restore what has been tarnished.

This particular name was only used one time in scripture in Exodus 15:26, and it is a self-proclaimed name by God.

The Israelites had just crossed the Red Sea on dry ground and witnessed God’s power through the parting of the sea. Not to mention, they had seen the plagues that the Egyptians suffered through that inevitably led Pharaoh to agree to their release and escape. They were traveling for three days without finding water. When they came to the place of Marah, the water was too bitter to drink, so they started complaining to Moses, asking what they were supposed to drink.

It’s not like they had been walking through lush grass and shady trees; they were walking through dry, pebbly ground, with nothing to see but hills in the distance.  This was enough to make the best of us weary and tired and very thirsty. The water at Marah was bitter. The soil was a source of niter, also known as potassium nitrate, which is great for gunpowder and fertilizers. In other words, there is no way to make this water drinkable. 

Moses cried out to Yahweh, who showed him a piece of wood to throw into the water. Moses did, and the water became sweet.  Here, Yahweh laid out some rules and laws to live by, and there he tested them. He told them that if you listen and obey what I am telling you to do, then you won’t suffer any of the diseases that he made the Egyptians suffer because I am Yahweh Ropheka. 

They just witnessed God’s power in the plagues. They saw firsthand the torment of the Egyptians and how the plagues affected them. At this point, I am sure they were willing to be obedient, like many of us are when we see something horrific happen and we don’t want to fall to the same fate.

God is our healer.

If we jump to Numbers 21, we will see another story of the Israelites and their complaining. I think my children could fit in among the Israelites with their whining. 

Numbers 21:4-9 says, “Then they moved from Mount Hor, following the road that goes to the Red Sea, in order to get around Edom. The people became impatient on the trip and criticized Elohim and Moses. They said, “Why did you make us leave Egypt, just to let us die in the desert? There’s no bread or water, and we can’t stand this awful food!”

The Israelites are whining and complaining about God and Moses. “Why did you just bring us here to die in the desert?” So God sent poisonous snakes to bite the whiners, and they died. When people realized what was happening,  they came to Moses, repented, and asked him to pray to Yahweh. Yahweh told Moses to put a bronze snake on a pole, and if they got bitten, they could look up to it, and they wouldn’t die.

Scholars believe the snake was made of bronze to match the redness of the poisonous “fiery” snake, and it was set high and lifted up so that anyone who had been bitten could look up and see it.

John 3:14-15 says, “As Moses lifted up the snake on a pole in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up. Then everyone who believes in him will have eternal life.”

God was pointing to Jesus even then. 

The remedy was simple. Look up in faith, and you will be healed immediately. God’s healing in the snake bite was not delayed. It was immediate and complete.

The Israelites would connect their poisonous snake to that of the snake that was the deceiver in the Garden of Eden. And now a bronze snake was lifted up for the healing of Israel, made in the likeness of the fiery snake but without the poisonous bite.

If you remember in the Garden, the first “sting” of a serpent was felt, and it was said that the Seed of the Woman would crush his head and he would bruise their heel. Genesis 3:14-16 This is a foretelling of Christ.

So first the snake had to be made of bronze, in the likeness of the one that was biting them. Then the snake had to be put on a pole and set up as a sign. Lastly, to be healed, they had to look up in faith at the snake to receive immediate healing. This is why a snake on a pole is used as a symbol of salvation and of healing.

Romans 8:3 says, “For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh.”

Back to what was said in Exodus 15:26, “if you will listen carefully to Yahweh your Elohim and do what he considers right, if you pay attention to these commands and obey all his laws, I will never make you suffer any of the diseases I made the Egyptians suffer, because I am Yahweh Ropheka.”

When Braxton’s hairball (I call it that because I refused to call it the “c” word) started, I went looking in scripture for God’s name that was associated with healing. I always knew it was Jehovah Rapha, which is just a different translation of Yahweh Ropheka. But when I found the name and read the passage, it just struck me differently this time, as things do when you are in the storm. No one gave God this name. This name was God telling us who he is. I clung to this name hard during the past few months. I prayed using this name like I never had before. I felt empowered when I called on this name, and I felt peace when I prayed using this name. 

I believe that God has given us these names in scripture to show us who he is. He gives us these names so that we know how we can call on him and how we can relate to him. He wants a relationship with us. He doesn’t want us to just know about him, but he wants us to know him, to walk with him, to call on him when we need something, or just to chat. He wants us snuggled up next to him like we would snuggle up to our daddies.

Yahweh Rophkea is our healer. Just as we would turn to our physical daddy for a broken heart or a Band-Aid,  our heavenly Father is the mender of the broken heart and the healer of all wounds.

Psalm 147:3, “He is the Rophe of the brokenhearted. He is the one who bandages their wounds.”

Isaiah 31:26, “Then the light of the moon will be like the light of the sun. The light of the sun will be seven times as strong, like the light of seven days. When that day comes, Yahweh will bandage his people’s injuries and heal the wounds he inflicted.”

Jeremiah 30:17, “I’ll restore your health and heal your wounds,” declares Yahweh.”

His healing isn’t just of broken hearts and boo-boos. 

He is the healer of mental afflictions. Look at Jonah 2. Jonah was inside the fish and cried out to Yahweh. He says, “In my distress, he answered me. From the depths of my watery grave, I cried for help, and you heard my cry.”

He renews spiritual fatigue. Psalm 23:1-3, “Yahweh is my Roeh. I am never in need. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside peaceful waters. He renews my soul. He guides me along the paths of righteousness for the sake of his name.”

He heals anxieties and worries. John 14:27, “I’m leaving you peace. I give you my peace. I don’t give you the kind of peace that the world gives. So don’t be troubled or cowardly.”

Philippians 4:6-7, “Never worry about anything. But in every situation, let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks. Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Yeshua.”

Yahweh Ropheka is our ultimate, one-stop-shop healer. When we place our life, our faith, in his hands and fully trust in his power, we will be amazed at what he can do. My family is a walking testimony to that. 

I had a choice when we faced “it looks like cancer” and “there’s a 9/10 chance this is cancer”. I could crawl under a rock and cry, or I could turn it all over to Yahweh Ropheka. We could lie down in defeat, or we could look up to the one who could heal. 

We chose to look up. We chose to rely on faith. We chose to obey God and his commands and allow Yahweh Ropheka to do what he does, heal. And he did. 

I don’t take it lightly that he chose to heal Braxton. I know that there are others who have prayed the same prayers, and their healing wasn’t done on earth, but in heaven. I know there are others who are mourning while we are rejoicing. I don’t know why one healing is done on earth, and another is done in heaven.

What I do know, God is our healer. His healing isn’t every once in a while; it is always. The healing, however, isn’t always how we want it. Sometimes the healing is in death, or a move, or a removal of a friendship or relationship, or in placing you in a new church that pours into you and binds up the wounds that the last church left. God’s healing is perfect and complete.

Let me encourage you, when you are sick, suffering, and in need of healing of any kind, look up. Look up in faith and call on our healer, Yahweh Ropheka. Listen and obey his commands, and allow him to heal you. 

Have a great day with Jesus.

Surrender.

What comes to mind when you read the word “surrender”?

In a secular world, it could be a loss of control, a loss of freedom, perhaps even defeat.

But what about surrendering to God? It could mean a loss of control, a loss of freedom, or perhaps even defeat.

“Adonay” means “lord” or “master.” So if God is our Adonay, then he is our lord and our master. So if we are to surrender to him, then we allow him the control, we place our freedom in Christ, and we admit defeat to our own frailties.

I was reading a thought by Tony Evans this morning that said something along the lines of “too many have settled for Jehovah without experiencing the full power of Adonai.” You see, we want God. We want his blessings. We even want to be grouped into the title of churchgoer and faithful follower, but we don’t want the ‘surrender.’

But why? Because surrender is hard. To give someone else control to have their way with our lives is against all that is in us as humans. We want control, we want the decision-making ability, and we want the power. But is surrendering to God a bad thing?

Scripture tells us several times to surrender.

Surrender Your Body
Romans 12:1 “Brothers and sisters, in view of all we have just shared about God’s compassion, I encourage you to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, dedicated to God and pleasing to Him.”

Surrender Your Heart
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust Yahweh with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths smooth.”

Surrender Your Life
Galatians 2:20 “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live I live by believing in God’s Son, who loved me and took the punishment for my sins.”

So if we are called, as Christians, to this surrender, what does that look like? I don’t just mean the big stuff like criminal activities. I mean, what does a daily surrendering to God look like?

I think it should be a daily, even moment-by-moment, act of asking God if what we are doing is pleasing to Him. Is the show we are watching something that we would watch if God were sitting beside us, or the podcast we listen to, the book we are reading, or the music blaring on the radio as we drive around town? As the old saying goes, ‘junk in, junk out.’

I know when I have watched a show that has language in it, I find those words circling in my mind, and they have a tendency to be on my lips. So I try not to watch those shows. I watch a lot of Hallmark. The same plot gets a little old, but I don’t have to worry about muting the tv when the girls come in or turning the channel so that their eyes don’t see something they don’t need to.

Our society wants us to be immune to sin, so it is plastered on billboards, in sitcoms, movies, and even games our kids play. So much sin has become ‘normal’ that we don’t even consider it sin anymore. It just is what it is.

Maybe, if I choose to approach my daily life as an offering to God, if I ask God if what I am doing is bringing Him glory, will my life change?

How can I seek his blessing if I am not walking in obedience and in daily sacrifice with him? Is my life offering a pleasant aroma to him, or is it one that he would reject? I am searching my heart on this one. I want to be one that God knows, and I want to be one that surrenders to HIM so that He can have His way with my life.

Are my lips filled with gossip? I have seen way too many use their prayer list as a gossip board to gossip in the name of Jesus. Honey, gossip is gossip. If someone asks you to pray for them, the only one you need to mention their problem to is God. That’s it. (Sorry, I’m a recovering victim of this tactic.)

Is my act of service for the attention of others or to honor God because of his goodness?

Have I made room for God in my daily life? Is my calendar so packed that I can’t even give him 10 minutes of my day? (This is the toe-stepping-on process for me.)

Is my identity in Christ or the world? Am I the same person at church, work, home, and out with friends? Do people on the ball field know me as the loudmouth “Karen” and then the holy roller in Sunday school?

Maybe my social media posts are for clicks for self and not pointing to Christ. Is my focus on me and not God?

Allowing God to be my Adonay, my master, my lord, is allowing him to have control. Maybe that is why Moses protested at the burning bush. Maybe he was having a hard time releasing the control of what he thought his life should be like and allowing God to lead him down a path that would leave his name on the lips of generations to come.

It’s in surrendering that God brings forth his greatest blessings. It’s in obedience that faith is built and a relationship is formed.

Maybe we should start wearing WWJD bracelets again. Not because it’s a fad, but a reminder that Adonay calls for surrender of self and alignment with him.

Surrendering to Adonay is not a grand gesture, a one-time act. It’s in the daily conversations, quiet acts of obedience, and hidden motives of our day-to-day life.

How are you surrendering to Adonay today?

Have a great day with Jesus!

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Our key verse this week is taken from Psalms 16:2, “I said to Yahweh, ‘You are my Adonay. Without you, I have nothing good.”

The Book of Psalms is a book I go to quite often. In fact, whenever we sat in the waiting room of the cancer center, I had my Bible open to Psalms. I would read scripture over Braxton and pray about whatever we were about to hear and trust that God was going to see us through. Psalms is my place of comfort.

Many years ago, when I was going through my “dark period,” it was in Psalms that I discovered it was okay to be mad at God. OH, I just made some of you upset. Bear with me here.

God designed us with the ability to have free will. We get to make our own decisions and follow who we want, when we want. Agree?

Ok, so if the one we are following does something or asks us to do something that we don’t agree with, doesn’t our human nature buck up and get upset?

No? Have you ever raised a teenager? Better yet, weren’t you once a teenager? If you can honestly sit there and say that at no point in your life were you ever once mad at your parents, then I will happily walk away and let you take over.

“But He’s God! You can’t be mad at God!”

Go read Psalms. David was mad at God, and he was a man after God’s own heart. Being mad at God for a moment because we aren’t getting our way is very different than being mad at God and turning our back on him.

Ok, I’ll step off my soapbox now.

Back to the comfort found in Psalms…the Psalms have often given me the words when I am lost, and I don’t know how to express myself. They have given me refuge in trouble. They have given me a song when I need to praise. And they have given me peace at just the right time in a waiting room of uncertainty.

This verse, “You are my Adonay. Without you, I have nothing good,” resonates with me in so many ways. I don’t have anything good apart from Adonay. I can look back over my life, and I know, without a doubt, that I would not be sitting here typing out this blog if it weren’t for Adonay. I wouldn’t have the husband I have, the two precious girls who make me question my sanity, or the sweet son who has a heart of gold if it weren’t for my Adonay.

Braxton and I were talking about this yesterday. It’s one thing to know about God, but it’s another to actually know God. I grew up learning and knowing all the Bible stories. We read the Bible every night as a family before bed. I decided to be baptized at ten years old. I thought I knew what it meant to give my life to God. Maybe I did to some degree, but when I was older, that belief was challenged, and I learned that you can’t just know about God; you’d better know God if you wanna get through the hard times.

How do you do that? You spend time with him. This year, I have made it a point to spend the first hour or so of the day with God. I get up early. I have to if I want any type of quiet time. I even wrote it on my cookie calendar: “God first, no exceptions.”

I do my best work in the house and kitchen before anyone wakes up. But I have sacrificed it to have time with God. My house reflects that, but right now, I don’t feel guilt over it. Because I know, in the light of eternity, it’s better that I spend time with God over the basket of laundry sitting beside me on the couch.

I know that I have nothing good without Adonay. I know that I love to spend time with him. He is a relational God. He wants to know me, and He wants me to know Him.

Sit in the quiet and let God speak to you. Yes, you may question if the voice you hear is truly God or a random thought. Question it. Ask the voice if it is God. Ask for confirmation. Ask God to place visible, tangible signs in your path. When you do, He will speak. The Holy Spirit will move inside you, friends will say something that will align with what you thought you heard God say, and a song will play that says what God was telling you. Sometimes, he says stuff like, “Your word for the year is ‘BE,'” and you have no idea what that means and you have to pray about it and question it and ponder on it, sometimes for weeks on end because you still aren’t sure what that means, but then you write about YAHWEH and how that means “to be,” and you almost throw the laptop across the room because in that moment it shook you to the core that God was asking you to BE WITH HIM, and you get chills that went to the bone because you know that God was speaking to you and just wanting to spend time with you.

(And for my grammar nerds, yes, that is a really long run-on sentence, but if you read it as quickly as my mind said it, you would understand.)

We have nothing good apart from God. God is good. God is THE good in all things. And Adonay wants to give you GOOD things! Isaiah 30:18 says, “Yahweh is waiting to be kind to you. He rises to have compassion on you. Yahweh is an Elohim of justice. Blessed are all those who wait for him.”

Take a moment today. Pour yourself a cup of coffee, tea, or whatever sit and sip beverage you prefer, get on the couch with Adonay, share a blanket and a cup, and spend some time talking with Him. Then pause and listen. Allow him the space to speak. He has good things in store for you!

Have a great day with Jesus!

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As I was working on my Bible study this morning, author Ann Spangler pointed out in her question that Pharaoh’s headdress included a cobra. Which led me to dive deeper into the study because a connection was made. In Exodus 4, where Moses is having this conversation with God in the burning bush, God tells Moses to take his shepherd’s staff and throw it to the ground, and it became a snake. 

Which Moses ran from. 

Then God commanded Moses to pick the staff up by the tail, and it turned back into a snake. 

Moses was a shepherd. They use their staffs to guide, lead, correct, and rescue; they use it as a walking aid, as a weapon against predators, and as a tool to clear brush. It is a symbol of authority and care. 

God commanded Moses to throw the staff down, or some translations say to cast it away. In this casting, God was calling for it to be changed, and it turned into a snake. 

Pharaoh’s headdress was a snake, which to them was a symbol of royalty or divine power.

God commanded Moses to pick the snake up by the tail. He was telling him he would meet the serpent/the enemy/Pharaoh.

The snake turning back into the staff was God telling Moses that he would lead the children of Israel as he led his flock.

—-

Moses, who was an Israelite adopted by an Egyptian Princess, raised in royalty, and then killed an Egyptian who was beating an Israelite (so essentially turning his back on his adopted family), ran away (cast out), and then became a shepherd (an occupation that was considered low), who met God in a burning bush after many years of God not speaking verbally to his people, was told that he would lead his birth family/nation out of captivity from the Pharaoh/snake. 

Is anyone seeing the connection that I am? Just me? Ok.

(Moses/Shepherd staff—Pharaoh/snake) or (Jesus/shepherd—devil/snake)

God used Moses to bring out his people from captivity. God molded Moses’ life from the beginning for this assignment. Moses was saved from being killed as an infant because his mother put him in a pitch-covered basket and let him float in the river, under the watchful eye of his sister, into the arms of a Princess who was a daughter of the very Pharaoh who enslaved his people. Moses grew up in a royal palace, learning the workings of the Egyptian pharaoh. He was learning things that no ordinary Israeli would know. He was being taught the things that he would need to know to eventually free God’s people. 

So with this in mind, when God asks him to cast down the staff, confront the Israel leaders, and then confront Pharaoh, God knew that Moses already had what it would take to pull this assignment off. It was Moses who didn’t believe. It was Moses who succumbed to his own insecurities. He was the one who didn’t think that he had what it took to face Pharaoh and lead these people. 

I said it yesterday, and it is striking me again today: why do we not think we are capable of doing what God is calling us to do? He knows that we are capable because he has already been preparing us for the task he is giving us. 

So why, other than self-doubt and insecurities (and yes, I am stomping all over my toes on this one), do we tell God no? No, I can’t do that. I’m not capable. I don’t have what it takes. I think you are talking to the wrong “Amy” here, God. Surely you can’t be asking me to do that?

It’s almost as if our Adonay knows us. 

If God used Moses’ life circumstances to prepare him to lead his people, what has/is he using your life circumstances to do for his kingdom?

Adonay is our relational God. He knows us, our past, our present, and what we are capable of in our future. 

In Moses’ consistent protest, Yahweh got upset with him. 

I have three kids. I adore my children. I would give them my last breath if they needed it, but there is one thing that I just cannot stand. There is one thing: if they do it, I will get very frustrated with them very quickly. That’s whining. I cannot stand whining and complaining. I even had my oldest memorize the verse Philippians 2:14 when he was younger, and I will most likely have my other two memorize it. “In everything you do, stay away from whining and complaining.”

Now, I feel like Moses didn’t just say once or twice, “Please, Adonay, send someone else.” I feel like there may have been a whiny tone, maybe a frustrated stomp, possibly even some crossed arms and a pouty lip. I don’t know; I wasn’t there. But for God to get frustrated, I feel like there was some temper tantrum-throwing level whine going on here. 

Which is when God announced that Aaron was on his way, and maybe he could do the talking part until Moses could get a grip. 

When we are hesitant to do what God is asking us to do when God is asking us to do it, be sure that he will make a way for us to follow that path. He will put people in our way to walk alongside us and help us. BUT, know that you are FULLY capable of doing what God is asking you to; otherwise, he wouldn’t ask you to do it to begin with.

Rest in the comfort of knowing that Adonay knows you, he has prepared you, and he is with you.

I hope you have a great day with Jesus!

We spent last week getting to know Yahweh. Yahweh is God’s name. It is not a characteristic or a title. 

What did you learn about Yahweh this week?

When I started the week, I was unsure how I would write a daily devotional thought about a name, not a characteristic. But I prayed every day that YHWH would speak to me, and it seemed that He came through. I learned that there is power in the name YHWH. Just as if you walked into certain places and dropped certain names, if you speak the name of YHWH, anxieties cease, doubts resolve, and prayers get answered. 

We are introduced to YHWH at the burning bush, where Moses’ reluctance to do what God asked is not hard to understand. Can you remember a time when you were reluctant to do what God was asking you to do?

For me, it was/is leading this class and writing a book. I’ll let you know how it all turns out in the end. 

This week, we will be studying the name Adonay. “Adonay” is the Hebrew word that means “Lord.”  This name implies a relationship. The name Adonay appears over 488 times in the Hebrew scriptures. The root word of Adonay is “adone,” which means lord, master, owner, meaning to rule,  and sovereign.

Adonay is the proper name of God; it is often substituted for YHWH in scripture. The name Adonay designates authority and supremacy. 

While the title “lord” is often a term that denotes human authority, in scripture, the title, when given to God, stresses his unrivaled rule, and when complied with, YHWH, it binds his divine sovereignty to his covenant faithfulness. 

In the Torah/Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible, Adonay is used for patriarchal narratives. In the historical books, Adonay is used for guidance and deliverance. In the books of wisdom and literature, his name is used for worship and confidence. In the major prophets, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Daniel, his name is paired with majesty and commitment.  And in the minor prophets, Adonay is associated with eschatological hope and/or hope in the end of times. The most occurrences of the name are found in Ezekiel, where there are over 200 mentions of Adonay Yahweh, which blended transcendent authority with covenant intimacy.

We are first introduced to Adonay in Genesis 15:2 when Abram asked, “Adonay Yahweh, what will you give me? Since I’m going to die without children, Eliezer of Damascus will inherit my household.”  Then God tells Abram for the fourth time that he will be the father of many nations. Shortly after this, Sarai took matters into her own hands and gave Abram Hagar, as we studied during the week of El Roi.

So if you are keeping count, this is now five names that are associated with Abraham that we have studied so far. Abram used this name to support the patriarchal narrative of God’s covenant. 

We are going to jump forward a little bit to Exodus 4 and pick up where we left off last week with Moses talking to YHWH in the burning bush. YHWH has laid out what he wants Moses to do, and Moses starts his protest. 

Remember, Moses grew up in a palace of privilege. He did not grow up with his people but was viewed as royalty who ruled over these people. He ran after killing an Egyptian who was beating an Israelite and has been gone ever since. Now God is appearing to him in a burning bush and telling him to go to the people that he once was over and say, “Hey, I talked to God in a burning bush, and he wants you to follow me.”

I am sure the tale of him killing an Egyptian is known throughout the camp, and that may have won him some favor among the Israelites, but not among the Egyptians. 

Moses was an Israelite who was raised as an Egyptian, who turned his back on his Egyptian family when he murdered an Egyptian who was beating a fellow Israelite.  I can only imagine the internal struggle and identity crisis Moses was having. 

After he spoke to the Israelites, he was to take the leaders of Israel and go to the King of Egypt and say, “Let my people go and worship God.”

In protest to this assignment, Moses started, “They will never believe me; they will say YHWH didn’t appear to you.” Basically, he is saying that there is no way the Israelites would believe that he talked to God.

In an effort to instill in Moses that God was with him in this assignment, he told Moses to take the staff in his hand and throw it to the ground, and he did. Immediately, it turned into a snake, and Moses ran away.  

I have to admit, I would be high-tailing it out of there right beside, if not in front of, Moses on this one.

God told Moses to pick it up by the tail of the snake. (Only the good Lord above would be able to give me enough courage to do that.) When he did, the snake turned back into a staff. (I wonder if he slept with that staff outside the tent that night.)

God explained that this would convince the people that what he was telling them was the truth, that Yahweh Elohim of their ancestors, the Elohim of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, had appeared to him. Again, calling on the covenant that was made with Abraham, and something the Israelites would and should know.

God gave Moses a couple of other signs to show the Israelites as more proof if they didn’t believe the snake staff.  One was putting his hand into his coat and pulling it to show that it was diseased, and then putting it back in and pulling it out to show that it was healed. The other sign was to take water from the Nile and pour it onto the ground; it would turn to blood.

Moses still protested the assignment by saying, “Please, Adonay, I am not a good speaker. I’ve never been a good speaker, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I speak slowly, and I become tongue-tied easily.” 

(I identify with Moses so much in this statement. Speaking in front of people is way out of my comfort zone.

Moses is calling on the relational name of God here, Adonay. He is appealing to him by recognizing his faults and how he might fail God in this assignment. 

How often do we focus on how we will fail or fall short before we even start the process? How often are we already looking at what all can go wrong before we allow God to show us what all will go right?

Are we a Moses, relying on human frailties and not relying on our God-fidence? 

If we would only realize that when God calls us to a Red Sea assignment, he has already given us the power to part the waters and walk through it on dry land. 

When we call on the name Adonay, we are saying that we trust in his promises, we surrender to his sovereignty and rule, and we are waiting anxiously for his return. O LORD, you are our Lord. Oh YAHWEH, you are our Adonay. 

If we move to the Psalms, we can see how the Psalmist used Adonay in both lament and praise. Adonay is used in a personal way.

Psalm 8:1 “O Yahweh, our Adonay, how majestic is your name throughout the earth!”

Psalm 16:2 “I said to Yahweh, ‘You are my Adonay. Without you, I have nothing good.”

Psalm 30:8 “I will cry out to you, Yahweh; I will plead to Adonay for mercy.”

Psalm 35:17 “O Adonay, how long will you look on? Rescue me from their attacks.”

Where YHWH is revered, Adonay is relational. 

YHWH reminds us that He simply is. He is self-existent, eternal, and never changing. Adonay shows us that he steps into a relationship with us. He’s not just the God in the burning bush but the one who walks alongside a trembling, stuttering shepherd who was once royal but now labeled a murderer, someone who once commanded attention but who is now reluctant to lead. 

Adonay is with the wildly unqualified and stands in the gap as they are called into service. 

When Moses protested his calling, Adonay reminded him of his sovereignty. What Moses lacked in ability, Adonay supplied in supremacy. 

Our faith is formed when we are moved from protest to obedience. When we step out in surrender, we rest in God’s ability, and we allow him to partner with our availability.  It’s as simple as realizing that you know YHWH, who is your Adonay, and what your humanity lacks, God covers with his sovereignty.

Where is Adonay asking you to trust him? 

What is your Red Sea moment? Are you ready to move from active protest to surrendered obedience?

Maybe you need an Aaron to walk alongside you while you take that first step into what God is asking you to do.  If so, identify who your Aaron will be. Who will go alongside you and encourage you, give you guidance, and help you in your calling? Ask God to show you who that is, and then ask them to pray with you and encourage you.

I look forward to learning more about Adonay this week and how I can step into my calling with him.

Have a great day with Jesus!

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Yahweh. What a name. 

At the beginning of the week, I was struggling with how I was going to get a week’s worth of devotional thoughts from this name. Not because this name doesn’t have significance, but because it’s God’s name, not a character trait that I can tap into. However, what I have learned this week will stay with me for a lifetime.

What is in a name? At the beginning of this study, I asked you to look up what your name meant. I also asked you to remember that we are all made in the image of God, Elohim, so what we are learning about his names is what we should be learning about ourselves. Yahweh is no different. 

In my personal study, I am reading in Leviticus. Leviticus is one of those books that you are just gonna have to muster through (at least for me). God is laying out his laws for his people; it talks about being clean versus unclean and instructions for offerings. There’s no “storyline” to really follow. You aren’t looking forward to what’s next in the journey as you would when you read about Abraham. However, what Leviticus is telling us is that we are God’s chosen people, and we are set apart. 

And because we are set apart, we need to act differently than the world, we need to worship differently than the world, and we need to be different than the world. 

We are different because Yahweh is different. He isn’t of this world; he isn’t man-made. He is the one who made man. We give to the poor and hurting because he is Yahweh. We help and love our neighbor because he is Yahweh. We obey his laws because he is Yahweh. We serve him only because he is Yahweh. (Leviticus 19)

He is Yahweh, our Elohim, our El Shadday, our El Roi, our El Olam, and our Yahweh Yireh. He is all those things because he is YHWH. We are holy because YHWH is holy. We are called to be different because he is different. We are loved because He IS love. 

Proverbs 3 tells us to Trust Yahweh, Fear Yahweh, Honor Yahweh, and Do not reject Yahweh, and Yahweh will be your confidence. 

What a blessing and honor it is to know Yahweh and to be able to call him by name.

Maybe the next time “I Know a Name”, “What a Beautiful Name it is”, or “There’s Just Something About That Name” is sung or played on the little black dots in your home, you will stop and realize, “Hey, I DO know his name!”. I know I do, and a tear almost always forms in my eye. 

I am honored to be on this journey with you. 

Have a great day with YHWH!

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If you don’t know then I’m about to inform you of something awesome. Yesterday we had my husband’s follow-up appointment, and we found out that the mass has shrunk and seems to be resolving on its own! Also, the doctor and two radiologists reviewed the slides from the pathology and found no cancer cells!!  We know it was because of God and the prayers of his people that we got the report we got yesterday. 

However, I want to back up to before yesterday’s appointment. I have had people ask me constantly how he was feeling. How we felt about going into this appointment. I don’t know how to describe it, but I was at peace. Total peace. I even tried to feel anxious at one point, but no, it was just peace. In my kitchen worship, I had several songs that came on that just constantly assured me that God heard me and God answered me and that we were about to see a miracle. Before we left for the night, as I was getting ready, I very loudly called on YHWH to hear me, go before me, be in the test results, be in the appointment, be in our travels, and be in our testimony. 

And he was. 

We stayed with my parents the night before because, honestly, it would have been hard to get the girls up super early, travel, drop them off, and then go to the appointment. Kids aren’t allowed in the cancer center, which I think is a great thing. I got up early yesterday morning to have my coffee with my Jesus, and I just searched the Psalms for YHWH. As I was reading Psalm 103, a text came in, “Praying for y’all today!”

Psalm 103 says: 

“Praise Yahweh, my soul!

Praise his holy name, all that is within me.

Praise Yahweh, my soul,

And never forget all the good he has done.

He is the one who forgives all your sins, the one who heals all your diseases, the one who rescues your life from the pit, the one who crowns you with mercy and compassion, the one who fills your life with blessings so that you become young again like an eagle.”

Read it again in case you missed it.

He is the one who heals all your diseases.

I love when YHWH speaks to me. I knew I didn’t have to worry. God had this in his hand.

As I do, I continued to thumb through scripture looking for YHWH’s name. (My Bible has the names of God in a bolded contrasting font so they jump out and make them easier to find.) Let me share what YHWH showed me yesterday.

Isaiah 30:18

Yahweh is waiting to be kind to you. He rises to have compassion on you. Yahweh is an Elohim of justice. Blessed are all those who wait for him.

Isaiah 30:19

You won’t cry anymore. Yahweh will certainly have pity on you when you cry for help. As soon as he hears you, he will answer you.

Isaiah 42:6

I, Yahweh, have called you to do what is right.

I will take hold of your hand, I will protect you. 

Isaiah 42:8

I am Yahweh; that is my name.

I will not give my glory to anyone else or the praise I deserve to idols. What I said in the past has come true. I will reveal new things before they happen.

Jeremiah 33:2-3

Yahweh said, “I made the earth, formed it, and set it in place. My name is Yahweh. This is what Yahweh says. Call to me, and I will answer you. I will tell you great and mysterious things that you do not know.”

What did you get from those passages?  What I got was, “I’m Yahweh, call on me, I hear you, I got you, and I’m the only one who can.”

If you ask us how we are feeling today, I’m not sure I can answer that. You don’t know until you know, and you won’t know until you have been through it. It’s like we have been holding our breath since November, and we are finally able to breathe again. It’s a relief. But we are also humbled that God heard us and answered us in the way we wanted. That we have the privilege to be a part of a testimony of the 1/10th of a chance. Y’all. That’s God. That’s my God. That’s my YHWH!

I remember the first time at the cancer center, and the doctor said there is a 1/10th of a chance that this isn’t cancer, and I claimed it then. My God is the God of the 1/10, the impossible, and improbable. Look at MY GOD work! As my precious friend would say, “GO GOD!”

As I sit here with tears in my eyes in the realization of how God has worked in and through all of this, I am amazed at his goodness, his grace, his healing power, his love, and his community of believers that have surrounded us, hugged us, fed us, loved us, prayed for us, laid hands on us, and covered us with his power. I hope that you never face a scary diagnosis, but if you do, I hope you have a faith family like the one I have. 

Psalm 145 (go read the whole thing)

I will highly praise you, my Elohim, the Melek. I will bless your name forever and ever. I will bless you every day. I will praise your name forever and ever. Yahweh is great, and he should be highly praised. His greatness is unsearchable. 

Yahweh is near to everyone who prays to him, to every faithful person who prays to him.

My mouth will speak the praise of Yahweh, and all living creatures will praise his holy name forever and ever. 

Have a great day with Jesus!

I’m going to stick with Elijah’s story today. Mainly because this next part is one of my favorite things about God. 

In 1 Kings 19, it opens with Elijah running for his life. He ran until he was tired, sat down under a broom tree, and wanted to die. “Yahweh, I’ve had enough; take my life.”

(I don’t know if you have ever had one of these moments, but I have. I’m gonna be honest right now; I have truly had one of these moments. I was in a very dark place; I saw no way out, and I just felt like it would be better off if I were no longer here. BUT GOD had another plan, and I am so thankful that he did. So, if you have had one of those moments, days, weeks, or even years, please know I understand.)

Now, as a mom, I think we have all had these days. Complete and total exhaustion. Just let me sit down and rest for a minute; don’t talk to me. I don’t wanna be here, so I’m going to envision myself on a tropical island somewhere, where I am by myself.

An angel woke him up and said, “Get up and eat.” So he ate and went back to sleep. Once he got back up, he was strengthened and was able to travel for 40 days and nights. 

Moral of the story: sometimes you just need a nap and a snack, and maybe 20 minutes not being called on or touched so that you can face the rest of the day. 

Elijah went to the mountain of Elohim, in Horeb, and went into a cave and spent the night. Then Yahweh spoke to him and asked, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” Elijah answered, “I have served you; your people have abandoned your promises, torn down your altars, and executed your prophets, and now they are trying to kill me.”

(Here’s my favorite part.)

Yahweh said, “Go out and stand in front of Yahweh on the mountain. As Yahweh was passing by, a fierce wind tore mountains and shattered rocks ahead of Yahweh. But Yahweh was not in the wind. After the wind came an earthquake. But Yahweh wasn’t in the earthquake. After the earthquake, there was a fire. But Yahweh wasn’t in the fire. And after the fires, there was a quiet, whispering voice. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his coat, went out, and stood at the entrance of the cave.”

There is more to the story, but I want to pause here. 

How often, when we call on God, do we look for him in the big things? It’s almost like we want God to give us a “grand gesture” (which he has already done, btw; remember Jesus?). We want to hear a loud booming answer to our prayers. We want God to shake the ground. 

But God, while he can do all those things, he comes to us in the little things. He reveals himself in a Facebook post, a text from a friend, a song on a little black dot in my kitchen, or a random quote on a tv show. While we serve a big and mighty God, El Shadday, he reminds us that he is in that whispering voice. 

I am a person who loves the little things in life. I mean, I really love the little things. I don’t need flowers on Valentine’s Day (fun fact: I can’t stand the smell of roses, so my hubby gets me daisies), I don’t need fancy jewelry or expensive trips. I feel loved by the sudden appearance of coffee, a random Snickers bar, a sink that magically emptied itself, or a phone call or text just to let me know that you were thinking of me. It’s the little things that make life great. 

In this passage, I feel like God is telling me that he is in the little things, too. When we are overwhelmed with life ‘lifeing’, if we take a moment to stop and breathe, rest, and reflect, we can see how our YHWH is working and his presence in our lives. 

Say a prayer today. Ask YHWH to open your eyes to see him and pray to be amazed. Let his goodness surround you like a warm blanket. And then watch and listen. YHWH is there, in the whisper. 

Have a great day with Jesus!

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