I am leading a class at church in a private Facebook group as we go through the Ann Spangler book, “Praying the Names of God for 52 Weeks.” You can click that link, purchase the book, and join us! I will share my thoughts as I go through this study. I am copying and pasting the same posts that I make in my Facebook group and what I share on Sunday mornings. This blog is just another avenue for someone to join me as I study the names of God.
Sunday’s lesson:
Thank you for joining me on this journey. First things first, I am not a teacher; I was not given that gene/talent. That is Braxton’s thing. I will probably, no, definitely mispronounce most of these names. However, I have studied the Names of God at different times over the last 10 years. It has become somewhat of a passion of mine. In fact, when Braxton and I first started dating, he and I did a names of God study together. We got The Names of God Bibles, which places in the names of God in scripture instead of just “God.” All that to say, I am not an expert in the names of God, but I am eager to learn and have studied them in the past.
As new and young mothers, I am sure most of us pored over a baby name book and looked up names and their meanings. We wanted to give our child a name that had purpose. Does anyone know what their name means…or pull your phone and look it up real quick if you don’t know.
My name, Amy, means “beloved” or “loved one,” and Beth, my middle name means “house/home”. So I am a “beloved house”… not sure how I need to live into that, but I will figure it out.
We live in an “OMG” society. The name of God gets thrown around like confetti, but it is not normally said in reverence. But what does the name of God mean? Google will tell you it means supreme, perfect creator, or ultimate being. But he has multiple names, and all his names stand for a unique characteristic.
Does anyone know the name of the God that they love? Or is there a name or characteristic you want to learn about?
While we all know God by the name of God, in scripture, God is known by his name and also by his characteristics. For example, when Hagar was in the desert running from Sarai in Genesis chapter 16, an angel of God appeared to her and told her that she was pregnant; she then said to God/Yahweh you are “El Roi”, the God who watches over me.”
In Genesis 17, when God appeared to Abram to tell him of the promise that he would be the father of many nations, he said, “I am El Shadday,” God almighty.
In Psalm 80, the psalmist cries out, “Open your ears, O Roeh of Israel.” Shepherd of Israel,
Yahweh Elohim Tsebaoth, how long will you smolder in anger? (Lord God of Hosts).
In the New Testament, Jesus is called Yeshua, Iatros (ee-ah-tros) for physician, Artos Zoes (r-toss zo-es) for Bread of Life, and, as we just celebrated Christmas, Emmanuel, God with us.
These names are insights into who God is, his nature, and his character.
This week, we will start our study learning about Elohim. Elohim is used over 2,500 times in scripture and about 30 times in Genesis 1 alone. Elohim is our creator; he is mighty, powerful, and all-knowing, and he is our beginning and end. In Genesis 1, we are told how God created the earth and every living thing on the earth. In Genesis 1:26, Elohim said, “Let us make humans in our image, in our likeness.” This tells us that we are HIS Image Bearers. So as we learn more about God, we should learn about ourselves. This week, we aren’t just going to learn about Elohim, but we are going to learn to pray to Elohim.
When we call on God’s specific name in prayer, we are tapping into that power. We are calling on that promise of God. He is allowing us to draw closer to him through his specific name.
I want to make a couple of challenges for you as you study this week.
Learn the meaning of your name and find a scripture that ties to a characteristic of you and your name. For example, my name means loved, so I am leaning into John 3:16, “For God so LOVED.” How can I show love this week?
I want you to spend time with God, outside, in HIS creation. For me, I find it fulfilling when I can get out of “my world” and into His. I need to step outside of the four walls of my house, breathe in fresh air, listen to the birds chirp and dogs bark, feel the breeze as it blows, and know that God is all around me. I need to eliminate the visual “to-do” list and allow myself to sit in HIS presence.
This book is not a daily study; it can be done in one day and probably less than 30 minutes. I would encourage you to do it at the beginning of the week so that you can pray the name you learned throughout the week. However, I will be posting throughout the week if you want more than a once a week reading.
During the Christmas season this year, my family started a couple of new traditions. One tradition was reading the Advent book from The Biggest Story every night after dinner. This book isn’t just the journey of Mary and Joseph to the manger. This book actually goes into the prophecies that were told about the coming of Jesus. It was probably a little deeper than my girls could handle, but we started it, and over the years, more and more will sink into their hearts.
A few years ago, we started a Shepherd on a search for a shepherd, where they look for a shepherd each morning instead of an elf. On Christmas morning, the shepherd is to be placed under the tree where he has found the manger, the true meaning of Christmas. This year, I started the search for Finding Jesus. Along with hiding Sammy, our shepherd, I hid Jesus for the girls to find. Jesus has a pocket where a puzzle piece fits, and each day we put the puzzle piece in the frame and read the corresponding verse. On the 24th, we put in the last piece to reveal the picture of the baby in the manger. The girls loved searching for Sammy and Jesus.
Now that Christmas Day has passed and we aren’t searching for anyone each morning or reading our Advent book each night, I started feeling the pull to continue our short devotional readings at dinner. A sweet friend shared a post on Facebook that stated that Christmas lasts until the day of Epiphany, which triggered a memory about the song The Twelve Days of Christmas. It’s been said that The 12 Days of Christmas was written to help teach others about God. A quick Google search will pull up a lot of different explanations, but I am going to share one that I found and how I have tweaked it in order to fit our family devotional.
On the first day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.–Jesus Christ
Yesterday we celebrated the birth of Christ. He is our Partridge in a Pear Tree. There is only one partridge, and there is only one God. As a mother partridge protects her young, so does Christ protect humanity.
Scripture: John 3:16 (NLT) “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”
Prayer: Father God, we thank you for the indescribable gift of your Son. May we live with the confidence in knowing that you love us enough to save us through your son.
On the second day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, two turtle doves–The Old and New Testament
The Old and New Testaments are the two parts of the Bible. This is God’s love letter to his people. Through scripture, you see who God is, the character of God, his plan of salvation, and his love for his children. His promises are written in black and white, and when we call on his name and claim his promises, we grow closer to the Creator of the Universe, to our Elohim.
Scripture: Luke 24:25-27 (NLT) “Then Jesus said to them, “You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures. Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory? Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.”
Prayer: God, as we study your word from cover to cover, may we see your hand writing your love story for us. Give us understanding as we read and open our eyes to the message we need to hear.
On the third day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, three French hens– Faith, Hope, Love
As we study God’s word, we see the themes running through Scripture: the themes of faith, hope, and love. The Bible stories we all know so well are filled with these themes. Stories like Moses and the Israelites, Abraham and Isaac, Daniel in the Lions Den, and David and Goliath. All are rich testimonies of God’s faithfulness, character, and plan.
Scripture—1 Corinthians 13:13 “Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”
Prayer- Father God, we thank you for showing us just how much you love us through the stories in the Bible. May we grow in our faith in you, live in hope of your returning, and show your love to others.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, four calling birds—the Gospels
The first four books of the New Testament are called the Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. These four books tell of the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The Gospels are also known as “Good News,” as Christians are called to “go and make disciples of all the nations” (Matthew 28:19), spreading the good news of Jesus and salvation.
Scripture-Matthew 28:19-20 “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
Prayer-Father God, thank you for your son, his life, death, and resurrection. Thank you for giving us a way to come to you and to be saved from our sins. Father, pour into us a spirit of boldness to confront the sin of the world and to spread the message of your word, our faith, and your salvation.
On the fifth day of Christmas my True Love gave to me, Five Golden Rings-First Five Books of the Bible (the Pentateuch).
The first five books of the Bible are called the Pentateuch. These books detail the creation, law, and early history of the world and of God’s plan. It is the plan where we are first exposed to God’s plan of redemption from sin and how sin first entered into the world. We learn that God is the beginning of all things and that it is his power that created the world. In these books, we also learn of his law, his compassion, and his covenant.
Scripture- Psalm 19:7-10, “The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living. Reverence for the Lord is pure, lasting forever. The laws of the Lord are true; each one is fair. They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold. They are sweeter than honey, even honey dripping from the comb.”
Prayer-Father God, we thank you for providing us with a history of the world, for teaching us your laws, and for sharing with us your covenant. As we study the first five books of the Bible, may we not only learn of your people but also of your grace and design. May we see the evidence of your plan and how it all points to Jesus from beginning to end.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, six geese a-laying–the six days of creation.
While we typically think of creation happening in seven days, God rested on the seventh, so the creation of the world happened in six days. This is a reminder of God’s perfect creation and provision. The geese a-laying represent new beginnings. Just as creation was a new beginning, God can give each of us a new beginning when we turn to him.
Scripture-Gensis 1:31 “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!
Prayer- Father God, we thank you for your creation and for your gift of new beginnings. God we ask that you help us put to rest things that do not benefit your kingdom and give us a new start in glorifying you.
On the seventh day of Christmas my True Love gave to me, Seven Swans a-Swimming-Seven Gifts from the Holy Spirit
The gifts from the Holy Spirit include prophecy, serving others, teaching, encouraging others, giving, leadership, and showing kindness. When you are given these gifts, it is important that you use them; it is then that you are fulfilling God’s call on your life.
Scripture-Romans 12:6-8 “In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
Prayer-Father God, I pray that we recognize the spiritual gifts that you have given each of us and that we use them to the best of our ability. May we live up to the calling you have placed on our lives and glorify you in all that we do.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me eight maids a-milking.–the Beatitudes
The Beatitudes speak of character traits of being meek, humble, merciful, and of being a peacemaker. It is these characteristics that God says are blessed. When we lean into the blessed attributes, scripture tells us that our reward in heaven is great.
Scripture- Matthew 5:3-10: “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied. God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.”
Prayer- Father God, help us to embrace the attributes that you spoke about in the Beatitudes. May we learn to be humble, merciful, and peace makers so that we may inherit the Kingdom of God.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, nine ladies dancing—fruits of the Spirit
The nine ladies dancing represent the core values of a Christian: the fruits of the Spirit. These gifts are virtues that develop over time as we grow in our faith, walk, and relationship with God. As we develop these values, we begin to become more Christ-like which is our ultimate goal.
Scripture- Galatians 5:22-23 “The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!”
Prayer- Father God, as we walk with you, help us to develop the fruit that the Holy Spirit gives us. Lord, we want to be more like you, and we know that through your gifts we can draw others to you.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, ten lords a-leaping-ten commandments.
The ten lords a-leaping represent the ten commandments. The Ten Commandments were the first ten “laws” that were written down for God’s people. These laws are God’s rules for a moral life. When we live within the laws of God, we can “leap” in joyful obedience, for God’s laws are not prohibitive. list, but a moral compass that leads us to Heaven.
Scripture-Exodus 20:2-17 “I am the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery. You must not have any other god but me. You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected, even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me. But I lavish unfailing love for a thousand generations on those who love me and obey my commands. You must not misuse the name of the Lord your God. The Lord will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name. Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. You have a Sabbath day of rest dedicated to the Lord your God. On that day, no one in your household may do any work. This includes you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, your livestock, and any foreigners living among you. For in six days the Lord made the heavens, the earth, the sea, and everything in them; but on the seventh day he rested. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and set it apart as holy. Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you. You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely against your neighbor. You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbors.”
Prayer- Father God, may we meditate on your laws day by day, record them on our hearts, and live within their boundaries. For your laws give us direction and lead us into a fulfilled life with you.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, eleven pipers pipping-the eleven faithful apostles.
The eleven pipers piping represent the eleven faithful apostles. Yes, there were twelve, but Judas betrayed Jesus. The apostles were the unwavering followers of Jesus and worked to spread the Good News after Jesus’ resurrection and ascension.
Scripture-Romans 10:14-15 “But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news?”
Prayer- Father God, may we follow the example of your apostles and spread the Good News to all. Father, we ask that you put someone in our path who needs to know more about you. May we be good stewards of your message of hope and salvation.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my True Love gave to me, twelve drummers drumming-represent the twelve points of belief in the Apostle’s Creed.
I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth. And in Jesus Christ, his Son our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, crucified, dead, and buried, and on the third day he rose from the dead; He ascended into heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the **holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.
Scripture-Isaiah 44:6 “This is what the Lord says- Israel’s King an dRedeemer, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies: “I am the First and the Last; there is no other God.”
Prayer- Father God, may we be confident in proclaiming our belief in you, in who you are, and in what you can do. May we boldly share your message and plan of salvation. May our life be a testimony of your grace and mercy and draw others unto you.
(**refers to the universal body of believers of Jesus Christ that spans across time and place.)
The 12 days after Christmas will take us to the Day of Ephiphany which is the day the Wise Men came to baby Jesus and realized that he is the Son of God.
Yesterday, we made the trip to the Montgomery Cancer Center again. It was raining and just not the funnest of trips, but one that was necessary. We got the results from the PET scan that we had the week prior. He has a 4.6 x 3.1 cm mass in the middle right lobe of his lung. The rest of the scan was clear. This is praise. His blood was good, really good. Also, a praise. We are scheduled for a biopsy on Tuesday of next week.
I must admit, when they gave us the news, I was calm. I didn’t cry, scream, or even get scared. I had peace. Now, I know full well that peace ONLY comes from God. It is because so many others have been praying for Braxton, for me, and for our family. I have had several confirmations this past week, whether it be in song or in study, that God has his hand on this. He is preparing to show off in some kind of way because he has told me that it’s all going to be okay. The road may be hard and painful, but in the end, we are going to have a story for our testimony.
I don’t have the answers. I don’t even have all the questions. But I know that God is the God of healing. Yahweh Ropheka. My God, my healer. He is who I pray to and who I take Braxton to on a daily basis.
In the meantime, I am keeping myself busy with my schoolwork, my cookie stuff, homeschooling the girls, and trying to build my graphic design portfolio. The image above is something I am working on selling. Each one is custom-designed with the names of your family. If you are interested in one, please comment or message me!
We all worship in different ways. Some of us connect to God through a good message delivered from a pulpit, some through reading of His word, some through a discussion in class, and some through music. Now I’m not saying that you are an “only one kind of worship” person. I’m not. I get something from God in all those ways. But God knows that if He needs me to hear something, and I mean really hear Him, then He plays me a song.
Yesterday I had a weak moment. When you are called to be strong in the face of a significant trial, it’s hard. When we first heard the news, I crumbled to the ground. I know. I know. We didn’t have a full diagnosis, but still. The way my mind works is that it goes to the worst-case scenario. If I can handle the worst case, then I know I’ll be ok. But I couldn’t fathom the worst case.
Coming back to yesterday. I read the paperwork on lung cancer from the doctor. Mistake #1. Then, mistake #2, I googled. NEVER. GOOGLE.
My anxieties took a nosedive off a high cliff, right into the pit of despair, and the flood of tears broke through the dam I was trying to build. I cried out LOUDLY to God to heal my husband. I also read something that I had shared with Braxton: “I command his blood cells to destroy every disease germ and virus that tries to inhabit his body. I command every cell of his body to be normal in Jesus’ name. Every cell in his body is quickened by the Spirit of God and functions perfectly.”
Now, I have never been that bold. But my God is BIG. He is the God of the impossible, the improbable, and the 1/10. So yeah, I got BOLD. And I yelled it! I’m pretty sure Markalynn thought I lost my mind, but that’s ok.
I went back to cleaning up and wiping down the dining room table, and I said, “God, I just need some good news. It’s been a hard couple of weeks. Just give me some good news.”
I walked back into the kitchen, where that little black dot was playing worship music, and the song “Firm Foundation” by Cody Carnes was playing. Normally, I sing this song loudly. But I couldn’t. The words just would not come out along with the tears.
The song opens like this: “Christ is my firm foundation The Rock on which I stand When everything around me is shaking I’ve never been more glad That I put my faith in Jesus ‘Cause He’s never let me down He’s faithful through generations So why would He fail now? He won’t He won’t”
I worshipped through tears and the lump in my throat as I tried to sing this song.
Then God.
Next he played Mercy Me’s Sing (Like You’ve Already Won).
Somewhere out there hanging by a thread All of your strength is gone, strength to keep holding on And don’t buy those lies that are in your head (Ooh) That say you should just give up, that you’ll never be enough (Ooh) Remember, you’re a child of the King
[Chorus] Sing, sing like you’ve already won Be grateful for all He has done As long as there’s air in your lungs, sing
You’re so much stronger than you think The Spirit that brought Christ back to life Is the same one you have inside So next timе, when there’s a wall standing in your way Sing along with that nеw song in your soul And watch them fall like Jericho, sing
[Chorus] Sing, sing like you’ve already won Be grateful for all He has done As long as there’s air in your lungs, sing Sing, sing like you finally believe Your name has been changed to redeemed So with every breath that you breathe, sing
That’s God, right? He was speaking to me! So I worshipped.
Braxton called me a little later and said, “Do you want to hear some good news?”
That’s God, right? Isn’t that what I had JUST prayed for?!
The news was that the biopsy was canceled because the radiologist thinks that it might be pneumonia, and did not want an invasive procedure done unnecessarily. So they wanted to get the PET scan done first. Now, I am not gonna lie. I PRAISED God very loudly at this point. We don’t want false hope, but to me, at this moment, this is the 1/10th I have been praying for all week.
I know. The odds are stacked against us and we are on an emotional rollercoaster. BUT. In this moment. I am claiming God. I will worship in this storm and I will take a small amount of hope and cling to that.
Yesterday we took our first visit to the Montgomery Cancer Center. A visit, to be honest, I was most anxious about a week ago. It has taken a full week to get from a CT scan where the local doctor said it “looks like” cancer to actually getting in to see an oncologist.
We have been inundated with calls, texts, words of encouragement, and more prayers than we could have ever imagined this week. We have felt the presence of God. God gave us peace in this anxious time that only He can give.
As we walked into the Montgomery Cancer Center, we were immediately greeted by a smiling gentleman who asked us why we were there and took us right where we needed to be. They have some of the most smiling and caring volunteers to get you to where you need to be; I was amazed. The check-in desk that we sat at had a verse facing the patients.
This verse has been my verse for many years. It has carried me through some very hard times in my life. I knew, when we sat down, that everything was going to be alright. Because the Lord does, in fact, fight for you if you would only be still.
After the check-in, we were led to the lab and then the doctor’s waiting room. I had brought my sketchbook, school book (because I am a little behind on my homework with all that has been going on), and my Bible. At first, I thought I would sketch a little to get a jump on my homework. (I am in school for a graphic design degree.) Instead, I pulled out my Bible and began to read.
That’s all I wanted to do. I wanted to read and feel God’s words. I often take comfort in the book of Psalms. David’s emotions have allowed me to express myself to God over the years. Let’s face it, sometimes you have to be real with God. He already knows how you feel anyway, but if you are truly going to be in a relationship with Him, you have to express your feelings to Him. He and I have been going head-to-head this week. I am not going to lie. I have struggled with God this past week. He has allowed me to be angry, scared, and quite frankly, overwhelmed.
But He is God. He can handle that. He wants that.
I landed in Psalm 91 and I am going to type it out for you here. I am reading from The Names of God translation, and it puts in the name of God used, which is so powerful to me.
“Whoever lives under the shelter of Elyon (God/Lord Most High) will remain in the shadow of Sadday (God Almighty). I will say to Yahweh (The Lord), You are my Machseh (Refuge) and my Metsuda (Fortress), my Elohim (God) in whom I trust. He is the one who will rescue you from the hunter’s traps and from deadly plagues. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge. His truth is your shield and armor. You do not need to fear terrors of the night, arrows that fly during the day, plagues that roam the dark, epidemics that strike at noon. They will not come near you, even though a thousand may fall dead beside you or ten thousand at your right side. You only have to look with your eyes to see the punishment of wicked people. You, O Yahweh, are my Machseh! You have made Elyon your home. No harm will come to you. No sickness will come near your house. He will put his angels in charge of you to protect you in all your ways. They will carry you in their hands so that you never hit your foot against a rock. You will step on lions and cobras. You will trample young lions and snakes. Because you love me, I will rescue you. I will protect you because you know my name. When you call to me, I will answer you. I will be with you when you are in trouble. I will save you and honor you. I will satisfy you with a long life. I will show you how I will save you.“
That last paragraph says, “I will protect you because you know my name.” I almost started crying. Why? Because I have spent the last few years reading God’s name and praying His name over different situations in my life. Due to life, I haven’t done it as faithfully as I should have, but life has a way of waking you up sometimes to what is really important.
The meeting with the nurse practitioner and the doctor was comforting in the fact that they both believe we can treat this. We still don’t know 100% that this is cancer. It “looks like” cancer. 9/10 it is cancer. But I know a guy. His name is God. And he THRIVES in the 1/10th of a chance.
My God is the God of impossibles, improbables, and barely a chance. So while yes, it may be the 9/10, I am leaning hard in the 1/10, and we are going to pray to be amazed and fight with all we have to overcome this.
This will be our next testimony.
One thing we were told to do is to walk at least two miles (outside) every day. Braxton is not a big cardio guy; he’d much rather lift weights. But starting today, we are walking.
Many have asked, “What can we do?” Right now, I can’t think of anything, but you can walk with us! If you do, post and #breatheforbraxton. So he can see all who are walking with him!
What started off as a normal Monday, where the girls and I loaded up in the car and drove to Montgomery to spend the night for speech appointments, was changed because my precious husband needed to go to the doctor. He went in early because he thought he had pleurisy, but he felt he would be in and out and would be back home before we hit the road. We were texting as I was loading up, and something in my gut told me I didn’t need to go, but he told me I did, so I got everything ready, and off we went.
As I was getting gas, he called, but I wasn’t where I could answer. I tried calling as soon as I got in the truck, but then he didn’t answer. I was about 10 minutes down the road when he was able to call me. He had to go in for a CT scan because they saw a spot on his lung that concerned them. That was it; I was turning around. I called and cancelled appointments and made a beeline for the hospital where he was.
The girls and I rushed in and found him. We waited for what seemed like an eternity before they took him back for the scan. Then the wait for the results was even longer. By this time, everyone in town knew that he was having some tests done for chest pain, and texts were coming in and prayers were going up. One of our friends and local pastors stepped in to check on us right before the doctor came in to give us the news.
We found two spots on your lungs that “look like” cancer.
Braxton looked to me. I was sitting with the girls, snuggled up to me. His eyes widened, and I knew that was the last thing on his mind. Not the words we wanted to hear. Not the gut punch we were expecting. But here we are with something that “looks like” something we don’t want.
I had to make phone calls that I didn’t want to make. I had to answer questions I didn’t know how to answer. And now I need to find the strength that I don’t know how to find.
But what I do know. It may “look like” one thing, but it can very well BE something else.
What I do know is that MY GOD is powerful. MY GOD is a healer. MY GOD is bigger than any of this, and He knew that we were going to hear those words yesterday. He also knew that he had moved us to a town a few years ago that would totally surround us in prayer the moment those words were uttered.
We are now on day two of what it “looks like,” and I made a decision. I had a phone call yesterday that told me I was allowed to break down and spiral for 24-48 hours, and then after that, I had to get up and fight. It hasn’t quite been 24 hours, but I am coming up off the floor with my gloves on. I am working on damming up the tears. My girls need to see us strong and not afraid. My husband needs to see his wife not crumbling every time she looks at him. My son needs to hear the strength in my voice and not a quiver when I talk to him. I need to breathe in deep the word of God so that it will sustain me in this process.
The names of God have been a love of mine for many years now. When I first met Braxton, he and I decided to do a names of God study, and I got us both a Names of God Bible to use. It is so rewarding to see God’s name and how it is used in scripture. I have been praying for Jehovah Rapha (the God who heals) to reach down from heaven and just touch Braxton’s lungs. Right now, he is in pain and can’t take a deep breath.
This morning I got up early, and as I prayed some more, I opened my Bible to Exodus 15. In verse 26, it says, “He said, ‘If you will listen carefully to Yahweh your Elohim and do what he considers right, if you pay attention to his commands and obey all his law, I will never make you suffer any of the diseases I made the Egyptians suffer, because I am Yahweh Ropheka.”
Yahweh Ropheka (ro-FEH-ka). The Lord Who Heals. Another name of healing in scripture. My God is the God who heals. My God is Yahweh Ropheka.
The Psalms have always been a comfort to me and have taught me how to process my emotions in prayer to God. David, who wrote the Psalms, was considered a friend of God. (God’s words, not mine). And David yelled at God in anger. I have heard so many times over the years that you can’t be angry at God. Why not? David was!
I turned to Psalms for encouragement, and Psalms 142 is where I landed. The name of God used is Yahweh, but for my prayer, I am changing it this morning.
“Loudly, I cry to Yahweh Ropheka. Loudly, I plead with Jehovah Rapha for mercy. I pour out my complaints in his presence and tell him my troubles. When I begin to lose hope, you already know what I am experiencing.
Pay attention to my cry for help because I am very weak. Rescue me. Release me. I will praise you and give thanks to your name.
Righteous people will surround me because you are good to me.” (heavily paraphrased)
Pray for healing. Pray for strength. Pray for wisdom. Pray for the right doctors. Pray for Braxton. Pray for our family.
Just pray. Storm the doors of God’s throne room and usher us into his presence.
I have wanted to write this for a long time but have refrained because I just didn’t have the words. We are so blessed with four beautiful children. One that is grown and living in another state, and we really don’t get to see him much. One that is about to start his second year in college. Then we have our two girls. The two blessings we didn’t know we needed but are so incredibly thankful for. The two that make us feel old and keep us young all at the same time.
I want to start this off by saying that all of my children are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves them and has big plans for them. They are made uniquely and exquisitely to glorify and serve an amazing God. Everyone is made with a purpose and a plan. Everyone is made differently. It is how we embrace those differences in ourselves and each other that makes us thrive in this life.
The oldest of my two girls is incredibly smart, artistic, a wonderful dancer, funny, and just a joy to be around. However, she learns differently from other kids. I am going to share our journey to where we are now, but this is really her story to tell when she is ready. I have several who have asked me about her so I want to share and provide encouragement for others who may have a similar journey but at the same time respect my daughter and her feelings.
We knew early on that our Princess had a speech problem. At age 3 we started her in speech therapy. At that time the focus was articulation, and she made some good improvements. At age 4 we changed therapists to one that was closer to where we lived because we had a new baby who was not a fan of the car seat. This speech therapist has been a key member in our speech journey, and we are so thankful for our Sera.
Sera caught on really quick that our Princess had more than just articulation problems; there was an underlying issue that we needed to solve. Sera consulted with her colleagues, and we did multiple tests that did not give us the answers we needed. She referred us to Children’s Hospital, and we got the diagnosis of Language Processing Disorder. (I do not like the word “disorder” and the connotation it portrays.) They gave us the diagnosis and basically said, “Good luck,” and sent us on our way.
Language processing disorder is where there is a breakdown in the brain; auditory processing disorder is a breakdown in the ear and can be corrected with a specialized hearing aid. There is no specialized device for language processing disorder. It is, however, a very rare condition and one that not many know about or even how to treat. So our journey for the past two years has been a trying one.
We have continued with speech therapy and even changed to one when we moved, which we were told had worked extensively with language processing disorder. I quickly found out that was not the case, and we switched back to our Sera as soon as we were able.
We are firm believers that God led us to where we are living now. We live in a small town that is kinda in the middle of nowhere. But we love it. One day my husband was talking to someone who shared that his grandson has a language processing disorder and their journey for answers. You know this was a God thing because this is a rare condition. They were able to get us in touch with the ones that have helped them, so now we are starting to get some much-needed help.
Language processing disorder is linked to other learning disabilities. Specifically, ADD and dyslexia, which our Princess also has. Her unique learning style is what has led us to homeschool her and her sister. The need for limited distractions, multiple breaks throughout the day, specialized reading help, and a multitactile curriculum have been key players in our homeschool journey.
We have been so blessed with the people that God has put in our path to help us, pray for us, and offer guidance when we need it. I am fortunate enough to have a sister-in-law who is a dyslexia specialist in Texas. She has been a great help in the beginning stages of this diagnosis. With her recommendation, I am currently working on being trained as a Barton Reading tutor, which is a dyslexia reading and spelling system.
We chose the homeschool curriculum by My Father’s World (referral link) because it is multisensory, fun, and Bible-based. It is an all-in-one curriculum that is easy for me to use as well as teaching a biblical foundation for our girls. I supplement in areas that our Princess needs to help her have a better understanding of the material. We move at her speed. If we need to slow down and spend more time on a subject, then we can. That is the beauty of homeschool.
We are still working on getting her more specialized therapies to help her and help us as we navigate her learning style. She is incredibly smart. She is very artistic. She blows my mind with some of the things she creates. She is beautiful inside and out, and I am so blessed and thankful to be her mom. Our prayer is that we find the right tools that we need to better understand how she sees the world and how we can help her navigate and communicate with others who see things differently.
Life on E Street has been a bit hectic lately. We added a baby girl to our family a few months ago and adjusting to life with a newborn at the (not so young) age of 39, plus keeping up with a kid in band and chorus, has kept me quite busy…not to mention the added stress of the holidays on top of it all. I feel things are starting to settle a bit so that I can stay on top of our Life on E Street.
I have written before about facing a mountain and the choice we made to climb that mountain. We felt God leading us down one path only to reach the end and be told “not yet”. I had so many thoughts going through my head that day, mainly one of deception. I felt God move us in this direction only to be told no, or not yet. As I was lamenting to a very sweet friend of mine she quickly changed my perspective. She said, “it’s like when Abraham took Isaac to the top of the mountain. He went with the purpose to sacrifice his son, only to be given a ram when she showed that he would do what he was told. You’ve taken the step in faith that God asked you to take, now you need to wait on your ram.”
I was speechless after that, because she was right. I did what I felt called to do, so now we just have to wait.
I used to pride myself in being patient, then I realized that I am only patient in a few things, and waiting on God is NOT one of those things. We live in such a fast-paced society where everything is literally at our finger tips and can be delivered in two days or less. (I am typing this post from my phone because I can’t wait long enough to get home to my computer!)
We have been conditioned to think that if we ask for it then it should happen right now. “Your way, right away” as the old slogan used to go. But God isn’t a short-order cook to serve up our requests in minutes or even hours. Sometimes it just takes time.
So here we are, sitting at the top of our mountain, living life on pause.
Here’s a little insight for you: I don’t currently live with my husband. His job has him living in one place and due to the custody agreement I have with my son’s father, I live in another. It’s not an easy, “just quit your job and move” type decision. So now we have this beautiful little girl and we are making the best of the situation we are in. This year we are praying for BIG answers from a BIG God in a BIG way. God is and always has been faithful; but we have to remain patient.
So we live on pause.
Another sweet friend of mine posted on Facebook about her word for the year and I shared with her that a few years ago my word was faith, followed the next year with hope. However, this year, its patience. I have learned that you can’t have hope without faith, and you can’t have patience without hope.
So how do you LIVE on PAUSE? Ha. I’m still trying to figure that one out, but truthfully you just keep living, praying, and believing that it will all come together and it will all work out (I’m clinging to Romans 8:28 on that). Until then, we rack up some serious miles traveling back and forth to be together as a family. It’s not ideal, in fact it’s quite exhausting; but for now this is the path we are called to take. So we practice the pause and simply enjoy every moment we have together.
Nothing is taken for granted. Everything is in His hands. It’s all in His time, His way, and for His glory.
When God is asking you to wait, there is always a reason. Trust in His promise and in His plan. His ways are better and He sees things we can’t. I pray we get to hit the “Play” button soon, but until then we will learn from the “Pause”.
I have started a reading plan to read the Bible all the way through in a year again. I have already done this once, and it really changed my life. Right now I am in Genesis, and I have been reading the story of Joseph this week. If you haven’t ever really read his story, I advise you to do so as it will open your eyes and hopefully encourage you the way it has me.
You see, Joseph was his father’s favorite child. Now I know we all claim that we are our parent’s favorite, but Joseph knew it and his father didn’t hide it either. His father even went as far as having a special coat of many colors made especially for Joseph to signify how special he was.
Joseph was also given the gift to interpret dreams by God. Now Joseph didn’t really handle this gift with the greatest of humility in his early years, at least not from what I gathered from scripture as his brothers were often offended with his interpretations of his dreams. There was such animosity between them that his brothers plotted to kill him one day when he was coming to visit them in the field. Thankfully, one of the older brothers had the courage to stand up to them and said, “let’s just throw him in this pit”, and planned on coming back to rescue him later. So they did just that; they threw Joseph into the pit, and then sold him into slavery. They then took it a step further and tore his precious coat and covered it in animal blood and took it to their father and said, “look what we found? Doesn’t this belong to your son?” Like they didn’t know. So now they have kidnapped their brother, thrown him into a pit, sold him into slavery, and to top it all off they faked his death and let their father grieve over this loss. (Sounds like a great group of guys!)
Joseph’s story doesn’t end there, but seriously, how much worse could it get? Right? Well, don’t you know you should NEVER ask that question? So here is the rest of the story.
Joseph was taken to Egypt and was sold to Potiphar, who was one of Pharaoh’s officials (a Pharaoh is a King). Potiphar saw that the Lord was with him and Joseph found favor in his eyes because of this. For this reason, Potiphar put Joseph in charge of his household.
Talk about a drastic change of events for Joseph. He thought he was dead, and now he is given a place of power! Things are looking up….or were they?
The story goes on to say that Potiphar’s wife wanted Joseph to sleep with her, and Joseph refused because of who he was, so Potiphar’s wife accused him and had him thrown in jail. While in prison Joseph used his unique talent of interpreting dreams to help out a couple of guys he was cell mates with, a baker and a cupbearer. The baker’s dream did not have a great interpretation and he died, but the cupbearer was pulled out of prison and restored to his position. Joseph asked him to remember him when he was released…and he did, but it wasn’t as quickly has one had hoped.
Now after some time had passed Pharaoh was having a recurring dream and none of his hired wise men could help him. Joseph’s cell mate, who was the cupbearer, finally remembered Joseph and told Pharaoh about him. Pharaoh had him brought out of prison, Joseph interpreted the dream, and Pharaoh put in charge of the whole land of Egypt!
Okay, that is a real quick summary of Joseph. But it’s enough to get my point across. Joseph faced some serious life altering challenges. Some of us would even say, faith shattering. I’m not sure how I would feel or how much faith I would have if my brother threw me into a pit with the intent on killing me, only to sell me into slavery because of convenience, and then be thrown into prison because of someone else’s lie. But “the Lord was with him”. That verse jumped off the page at me.
As I was talking to my husband this morning about our current situation, I told him that it must have been a great comfort to Joseph to know that God was with him…then I realized, I know that God is with us in our current situation. I see God’s fingerprints all over it and that is the only reason I have the peace that I have. Yes I have questions, but I am at peace.
Joseph’s story didn’t end there, many years later his brothers had to come to him to get help because there was a great famine in the land, only they didn’t know who he was. When the truth finally came out, they were afraid, in fact the scriptures say, “they were terrified”. Joseph said something that really opened my eyes and caused me to pause. ” Genesis 45:5 “And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you.”
Did anyone just say, “wow”? Because I did! Can you imagine having that kind of faith? When you KNOW that you KNOW that you KNOW that the reason you went through what you went through was to save lives and that God sent him ahead of them to save them, that is a really strong faith.
As I look back over my trials and struggles and storms and I see where God was, even when I wasn’t looking, I’m still not sure why I went through all that I did. I do know He was there. I know that He is with me now in my current trial. But to have the faith and presence of mind to know that it was because God sent you there, that is some kind of faith.
God allowed Joseph to go through what he went through so that he could save lives. He pulled him from the pit that he was thrown and in placed in a position of power. I know that God has pulled me from my pit, and while I don’t crave nor do I want any position of power, I do pray that he places me in a position to save others. What a joy to know that God is with me and has been with me since the beginning, and will continue to be with me till the end. I pray that you will allow God to pull you out of your pit and place you into a position of power.
Psalms 119:11 says, “Your word I have treasured in my heart, That I may not sin against You.” I have worked hard this week to compile a list of 54 verses to memorize in 52 weeks (free with the code 54in52). Why 54? Well, to be honest, when I was designing the pdf I would have had 2 extra empty blocks and it just didn’t look aesthetically appealing….and a few of them are really short and I have faith that you can have them memorized in less than a week so why not just give you an extra one or two. But why memorize scripture? What is the importance?
Because WHEN the day of the evil one comes, you want to be ready. And yes, with modern technology we can carry our phones and tablets with the handy Bible app at our fingertips to look up whatever we need at the moment, so why memorize scripture? Yes, I hear your argument, in fact, I have made that argument myself, but here is the truth of the matter, when I am stuck in a trial or struggle, it’s God’s word that comes flooding into my mind and brings me peace. When I feel I am being tossed about in the waves of life I don’t always think to grab my phone to search up what verse will bring me comfort. All too often I have been able to recall a verse I have learned and used it to comfort myself or others I have been talking with and praying with.
Let me tell you this, when you use God’s word in prayer it is powerful. It’s almost like you are throwing God’s word back at Him, not in an “in your face” kind of way, but in an “I’m claiming the promise you made for me” kind of way. And that, my friends, is power. But how can you claim those promises when you don’t even know what they are? How can you draw comfort in times of need if you aren’t armed with His words to bring you peace?
I decided to designs these cards (free with the code 54in52) for you and for me. Some of these are ones that I quote countless times and have engraved on my heart and my mind, others are ones that I have highlighted in my Bible that jumped out at me in my reading. ALL of them are straight from God’s word. Print them out, follow the handy-dandy dotted cut lines, then post them on your bathroom mirror, stick it to your dashboard, tape it to your computer screen….put it somewhere that you will see it daily and start the habit of writing His word on your heart. These verses aren’t in any kind of order so don’t panic if you get them out-of-order.
This is a free download with the code 54in52. Please download and share. Maybe get a group of friends together as an accountability group to quote your verses to each week. But please, don’t just learn them for the week, learn them for life. Treasure His word in your heart.
