God’s Peace

Yesterday we took our first visit to the Montgomery Cancer Center. A visit, to be honest, I was most anxious about a week ago. It has taken a full week to get from a CT scan where the local doctor said it “looks like” cancer to actually getting in to see an oncologist.

We have been inundated with calls, texts, words of encouragement, and more prayers than we could have ever imagined this week. We have felt the presence of God. God gave us peace in this anxious time that only He can give.

As we walked into the Montgomery Cancer Center, we were immediately greeted by a smiling gentleman who asked us why we were there and took us right where we needed to be. They have some of the most smiling and caring volunteers to get you to where you need to be; I was amazed. The check-in desk that we sat at had a verse facing the patients.

This verse has been my verse for many years. It has carried me through some very hard times in my life. I knew, when we sat down, that everything was going to be alright. Because the Lord does, in fact, fight for you if you would only be still.

After the check-in, we were led to the lab and then the doctor’s waiting room. I had brought my sketchbook, school book (because I am a little behind on my homework with all that has been going on), and my Bible. At first, I thought I would sketch a little to get a jump on my homework. (I am in school for a graphic design degree.) Instead, I pulled out my Bible and began to read.

That’s all I wanted to do. I wanted to read and feel God’s words. I often take comfort in the book of Psalms. David’s emotions have allowed me to express myself to God over the years. Let’s face it, sometimes you have to be real with God. He already knows how you feel anyway, but if you are truly going to be in a relationship with Him, you have to express your feelings to Him. He and I have been going head-to-head this week. I am not going to lie. I have struggled with God this past week. He has allowed me to be angry, scared, and quite frankly, overwhelmed.

But He is God. He can handle that. He wants that.

I landed in Psalm 91 and I am going to type it out for you here. I am reading from The Names of God translation, and it puts in the name of God used, which is so powerful to me.

“Whoever lives under the shelter of Elyon (God/Lord Most High) will remain in the shadow of Sadday (God Almighty).
I will say to Yahweh (The Lord), You are my Machseh (Refuge) and my Metsuda (Fortress), my Elohim (God) in whom I trust.
He is the one who will rescue you from the hunter’s traps and from deadly plagues.
He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge.
His truth is your shield and armor.
You do not need to fear terrors of the night, arrows that fly during the day, plagues that roam the dark, epidemics that strike at noon.
They will not come near you, even though a thousand may fall dead beside you or ten thousand at your right side.
You only have to look with your eyes to see the punishment of wicked people.
You, O Yahweh, are my Machseh!
You have made Elyon your home.
No harm will come to you.
No sickness will come near your house.
He will put his angels in charge of you to protect you in all your ways.
They will carry you in their hands so that you never hit your foot against a rock.
You will step on lions and cobras.
You will trample young lions and snakes.
Because you love me, I will rescue you.
I will protect you because you know my name.
When you call to me, I will answer you.
I will be with you when you are in trouble.
I will save you and honor you.
I will satisfy you with a long life.
I will show you how I will save you.“

That last paragraph says, “I will protect you because you know my name.” I almost started crying. Why? Because I have spent the last few years reading God’s name and praying His name over different situations in my life. Due to life, I haven’t done it as faithfully as I should have, but life has a way of waking you up sometimes to what is really important.

The meeting with the nurse practitioner and the doctor was comforting in the fact that they both believe we can treat this. We still don’t know 100% that this is cancer. It “looks like” cancer. 9/10 it is cancer. But I know a guy. His name is God. And he THRIVES in the 1/10th of a chance.

My God is the God of impossibles, improbables, and barely a chance. So while yes, it may be the 9/10, I am leaning hard in the 1/10, and we are going to pray to be amazed and fight with all we have to overcome this.

This will be our next testimony.

One thing we were told to do is to walk at least two miles (outside) every day. Braxton is not a big cardio guy; he’d much rather lift weights. But starting today, we are walking.

Many have asked, “What can we do?” Right now, I can’t think of anything, but you can walk with us! If you do, post and #breatheforbraxton. So he can see all who are walking with him!

Love y’all!